What we are doing here....

Teachers want what?Academic writing is difficult.

Your teachers want 'something' but what?

I struggled so I hope this course helps - but there will be a lot of reading - take your time.

This approach will seem a bit silly at first but bear with me, maybe something will click. I will make it possible for you to submit what you do along the way if you want to. It will be in a pop up window - keep it open so you can keep coming back to it. I promise to try and give you some feedback for you to ignore parpadeo

Exercise One

Are you ready for this, this is going to be really hard....

Please stand up, look out the window - what do you see? Please notice three (3) things - any three things. Write something like the below.

Outside the window there is a car, a bike and a security guard.

Done? Not so hard right?

Exercise Two

Right, take that sentence you just wrote and add some opinions and 'facts' about what you can see. [Click here to write]

Outside the window there is a car, a bike and a security guard. The car is a beautiful green Porsche. The bike is a silver and black Harley Davidson owned by the coolest person. The security guard is wearing a white polo shirt and he is not cool.

Done? Simple?

The first thing we have to notice - The Form

Outside the window there is a car, a bike and a security guard. Topic Sentence
The car is a beautiful green Porsche. Supporting sentence #1
The bike is a silver and black Harley-Davidson owned by the coolest person at the polytechnic. Supporting sentence #2
The security guard is wearing a white polo shirt, and he is not cool. Supporting sentence #3

The topic sentence should tell the reader what they are about to read about, nothing more.

As teachers, we   see this all the time - don't include other stuff.

Here is an example

Outside the window there is a car, a bike and a security guard. The car is a beautiful green Porsche. The bike is a black and silver Harley-Davidson owned by the coolest person at the polytechnic. The security guard is wearing a white polo shirt, and he is not cool. The flowers are beautiful too

Huh? Where did the flowers come from? Why are you talking about flowers? No one likes flowers, especially when they suddenly appear for no reason. These flowers are weeds - kill them. Kill them quickly because they will only lead to confusion.

Got it?

Hint - write the paragraph body - the supporting sentences - first and the topic sentence second. It is just easier. And when you proofread your assignment, make sure that everything in the body relates to the topic sentence. If it does not - then change it.

Fact or Opinion?

Ok - the next thing you need to notice - the information that was added - were those things facts or opinions?

The Information Opinion? Why is it an opinion?
beautiful Yes What you think is beautiful and what I think is beautiful are two completely different things
green Yes People even disagree on colours
Porsche Yes No, can't be, it is one of the older Lexus's - look at how ugly it is ;)
silver and black Yes No, it is two different shades of grey
Harley Davidson Yes Nope, it is a customized Honda
owned Yes Maybe, but I think that 'Owned by the bank' is a better way of looking at it
the coolest person at the polytechnic Yes LOL!
white Yes Nah, hasn't been washed in a while, off white maybe
polo shirt Yes Polo is a brand, I do not think that the polytechnic is going to buy Ralph Lauren shirts for the security staff
he is not cool Yes You tell him that parpadeo

It is a fact that...

Even that he is a security guard is up for debate. Not because of the definition of the job, but each person's understanding of what a security guard is, is different. This is especially true when you are talking internationally. But this is too deep for right now. Let's keep it simple.

So, the point here is, there are actually very few facts. Things like the Earth is round (??), and water freezes at zero degrees are facts, but most of the things we write about in academic writing are not facts. You should never assume that something is a fact because there will be someone who will argue with you. Do you want to argue with people?

But we can make what we write stronger (or 'less-argue-with-able'). Look at Exercise three.

Exercise Three

Get your friend to stand up and look out the window. Ask them about the three things you wrote down. Add their comments like the paragraph below. Here is the link to the place you are writing one more time.

Outside the window there is a car, a bike and a security guard. According to Lawrence (2017) the car is a beautiful blue-green Porsche. The bike is a black and silver Harley-Davidson owned by the coolest person (Lawrence, 2017). Lawrence also commented that the Bahrain Polytechnic security guard is not cool (2017).

I have added the opinion of another to support what I have written. I removed the white Polo shirt comment because, well, I don't know how to include it - You can do the same in your essays, if it doesn't fit and it isn't needed, remove it - that is what proofreading is all about.

This person, Lawrence, just happened to be there and is actually colour-blind and knows nothing about cars or bikes. But if the person you were talking to was an expert on cars, bikes and security guards; then, what they say, which agrees with what you are saying, will make what your paragraph far less 'less-argue-with-able.'

This is why we include quotes and citations in our work - check out the APA stuff now if you want. parpadeo

However, I then went and did something stupid - I asked the security guard if he was cool....

Outside the window there is a car, a bike and a security guard. According to Lawrence (2017) the car is a beautiful blue-green Porsche. The bike is a silver and black Harley-Davidson owned by the coolest person at the polytechnic (Lawrence, 2017). Lawrence also commented that the Bahrain Polytechnic security guard is not cool (2017), although AlSedeqqi (2017) disagrees and suggested that coolness is defined by a white Bahrain Polytechnic Polo shirt.

Ok - so what have we done?

  • There are no 'facts' in academic writing
  • Do not include extra information in the body of your paragraph that is not covered in the topic sentence
  • Write the topic sentence after writing the paragraph
  • You can make your writing 'less-argue-with-able' if you include the opinions of others, especially if they are experts.

Not all of your assignments will be like this but this is a useful approach to keep in mind as you write.

And just a quick FYI - Blog writers are not (usually) experts. Academic people who have published journal articles and books are better 'experts' because other people who are also experts read their work and agree (or not). The more people who agree on something, the 'less-argue-with-able' your information is.

Right. Take a break. You have done well. When you are ready - click 'Next'.